Thursday, June 24, 2010

making time out of no time

Distractions... There are so many of them in our life. We are so carried away in our everyday life, so busy rushing through a shower and heading to the road or stuck in the LRT. Cursing people who overtake without signaling, cursing the person next table who are smoking i'm having my meal, having client turning up in office demanding for docs without notifying ealier. Sometimes, its so hard for me to find time for myself which i hope i can. I just want to sit down and think, think and think of my life and future. How many of us actually take 5 mins a day just to reflect our daily happening? I guess very few of us do and that include me. This would be even more difficult for me now since i'm doing tutoring and insurance as well. Five days a week would all be work and work and no ponder ponder time. So from today onwards, I'll FIND TIME to do this. I'll make time everyday to think of the ways to improve myself, to do things better than what i did yesterday.
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The last time i have deep thoughts of my life was during my study leave. Those were the days i can lay on my bed and ponder on life. I don't call it day dreaming, because day dreaming has no direction and plan. I love to think of the future filled with hope and positive energy. I personally have a very strong feeling of success in me which i hope and want to nurture it to be reality. I believe that I'm more fortunate than many other people the same age as me. I have a great start in my school days that allow me the abilities to speak fluently, able to conduct a presentation without feeling afraid, to communicate and mixed well in a new environment. If not for my mom who sent me to the Big-Backside-Girls-School, i wouldn't be who i am today, a person with confidence. Thanks mom...
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Despite all the abovementioned, i must admit i'm a person with no patience. Time to time, i can easily be an angry cow. I dislike waiting for people, for me waiting for a person would mean not more than 15 mins. Else, i'll be very agitated and restless. And i have a serious problem with people who do not have the sense of urgency. This always happen in college days, when we're already late for class, Andy would still take his sweet time to walk. Most of the time, he'll be at the back and i'll be running to class. How i hate this and because of this, we had quite a few roll. Andy is a person filled with patience and this is his utmost quality and the reason we can be with each other for a good 4 years and counting. After some time from college years, Andy and i did ponder on how stupid we used to argue because of going late to classes, me being so angry bimbo every morning when we fail to leave the house early. We laughed over it now, and i start to question myself. Do i need to be such at such a situation and i realise the answer is no. I have to work out on this. I have to get a serious medication of push my patience up and my angry bimbo act down. Pls remind me to be patient if i lose them at times. If only i have more times to ponder to make myself realise all this and most importantly IMPROVE!!
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I WILL MAKE TIME TODAY AND EVERYDAY FROM TODAY ONWARDS!!

1 comment:

Sue Lin said...

I agree with u. Our working lifestyle in KL is so hectic that we dont really have time to ponder. Just enough time to think about things we need to do, what we want to do in the short term.

Lately i have been thinking ALOT. Haha

Its good to hear that Andy and u are happy together again =)